A Little Unpleasantness

I experienced Stroller Rage today. Did a slightly dodgy thing, by chasing after, then yelling at a driver for nearly barreling through Kyla's stroller while I was crossing with the light. The incident came towards the end of an unusually fraught day with my little 'angel' wailing interminably over nothing. On the rare days like these, I become excited at the prospect of returning to work in January. A rough day with baby is sooooooooo much harder than the roughest of days in the office. I wouldn't have believed it before she arrived, but now I understand why everyone in the know says being a stay-at-home-parent is the toughest job of all.

Running hills with the club tonight almost provided me requisite decompression, until I was all riled up again by the drive home. In my opinion, driving really ain't all it's cracked up to be. There we were, surviving smugly sans-vehicle for over 6 years, before succumbing recently to the lure of the wheels. Ten minutes navigating the streets of Queens, and I'm tense as hell. I'm very much looking forward to the point when my mileage is increased sufficiently so as I can resume running the 2+ miles back and forth to Astoria Park to join the club workouts.

I'm upping the foam roller self administered torture sessions to 15 minutes twice daily. I really felt my left knee tonight. It's de-ja vu all over again.

Conversations With Strangers, Part Two

Women/men in elevator, on street, in stores, etc: Aaw, cute baby. What's her name?
Me: Kyla
Them: Aaw, Kayla
Me: No, Kyla
Them : Ah, Kayla
Me: It's KYla
Them : Kaylee?
Me: Kyla
Them : Kylie?
Me: Kyla. KYLA. K-EYE-LA
Them: Oh, I see. Hi Kayla.
Me (thinking): AAAAAAAARGH!

I thought I'd gone out of my way to pick a meaningful name for our daughter that would not give her a lifetime of pain, in terms of others butchering its pronunciation. In fact, I'm hard pressed to think of two syllables easier for an English speaker to string together than "Kyle" and "ah." Clearly I am mistaken. Strange though, a 2 year-old, a 3 year-old and a 6 year-old were all able to repeat "Kyla" correctly, first time. Whatsupwiththat?

I'm also gathering material for an 'Ignorant Intrusions, Part Two' post. It's amazing how passing strangers on the street believe they are better qualified than I to look after my own kid.

Running this week -
I'm somewhat disappointed to report I only made it out three times (Thanksgiving interfered.) But what I lacked in quantity, I made up for in quality. Each run felt great.
Monday: 7 or 8 hill reps with the club, following a 15 minute gentle warm up
Friday: 30+ minutes out and back along Route 10 in New Hampshire
Sunday: 46 minutes, out and back over Queensborough Bridge - entire length :-)

One Good Run

I very nearly dropped my plans to run Boston '05 when I thought I'd lost the motivation to put myself through training. That was, until an excellent 12-miler one crisp December morning. That turned everything around; giving me the taste for running long again; giving me the boost I needed to see myself right through to the start line in Hopkinton the following April.

Today's run reminded me of that. After a hellish 19 minute struggle Friday (my dead legs felt like they'd done speedwork on Wednesday - which in a way, they had,) and a pathetic shuffle on Saturday, I ran a terrific 32 minutes this morning. It was a cropped version of my old favourite route from home over the Queensborough Bridge and back. While, not exactly a breeze, it wasn't agony either.

I realised this morning I'm not impatient to get fast exactly (and to be clear, my idea of 'fast' is about 8:30s or so in training) - but rather, I'm impatient to be comfortable. It's a horrible thing to feel like hell while doing what used to be so enjoyable for me. I'm impatient to get the 'floating' sensation back. That effortless glide along the pavement. That 'switch the mind off and sail' feeling. No matter what speed I run now: 10...11...12-minute miles, I experience constant discomfort, heaviness, awkwardness. Not so much floating as sinking.

But this morning on the bridge there was a hint of the 'float' to come, and it's pumped me up. I might not even dread hitting the road tomorrow morning!

Picking up the pace and the frequency has brought with it that old friend of mine, one so familiar to me by now: knee twinges. I'm launching a preemptive strike on this recurring problem this time however, by foam rollering daily. It's not the first time I or anyone else has said this, but it bears repeating... foam rollering is T-O-R-T-U-R-E. Mmmm, water boarding or foam rollering? Tough choice. Seriously. I'm crying out in pain the entire time I do it. Just one minute on that thing is like an eternity. It just goes to show what a mess my IT bands are already, after just 3 weeks of gentle running. Which reminds me, must buy new shoes and orthotics soon!

Meanwhile, back at the ranch...
Kyla has turned out to be a little angel. She seems so happy and contented most of time, and when she's not, it's usually easily 'fixed.' She sleeps most of the night, doesn't have to be rocked to sleep, doesn't mind loud noises, sleeps in the stroller, car seat or Snugli, breastfeeds like a dream, yet takes a bottle from anyone...etc etc. I know I'm probably jinxing it by boasting, but I just can't over our luck with her. Sure, it was rough the first 3 or 4 weeks, but now she's an absolute joy. Here she is when she met the Hellgate crew on Saturday morning (thanks coach Jared for babysitting!) Might as well get her surrounded by runners as soon as possible, huh?!

A Single Step

OK, it's time to get this blog back on track (pun intended.) I've started running again - now it's time to start writing about running again.

I'm very conscious of that fact that I'm in a serious 'danger zone' with my running right now. There are a number of potentially fatal obstacles to my getting back into it in a major way: 1) motivation is LOW because I'm fat, out of shape and SLOW SLOW SLOW 2) I'm exclusively breastfeeding which means I can't stray too far for too long from Kyla and my boobs are an uncharacteristic hindrance (tmi?), 3) getting up to run in the morning is tough when I've been up half the night with baby, and in the evening it's tough coz it's dark and miserable out.

So it's extremely important that I force myself to stick to it, no matter how short, slow and otherwise pathetic my runs may seem to me or anyone else out there - I must must persist. The alternate route is too disastrous to contemplate. I wish I'd tried to run further into my pregnancy than I did. Kate is truly an inspiration in that regard. Just 4 weeks till her due date and she ran 5 miles last night! I can't over that, nor how tiny her bump is!

I'm in my fourth week back running now, I've been running 4 or 5 times each week, no more than 20 minutes at a time. Last night however, I made it up to the club at the track for the first time in months and ran 26 minutes a little faster than I've been doing. It felt hard, but good. Thanks Mary and Suzanne!

I went to a NYRR pre-marathon lecture a few years back, where the speaker (a sports psychologist) explained his thoughts on people who return to running after a break and those who quit for good. He believed the key difference between those two groups is that the former view running as part of their 'identity.' They cannot imagine themselves without it. I like to think I belong to that group. And that is why, in spite of my current lack of enthusiasm, opportunity and talent, I'm going to make it happen.

In the spirit of forcing myself to stick to it, I want to lay out my running goals here for all to see. This way, I'll be publicly embarrassed, as well as devastated if I don't get back on form.

Immediate Term: Run 4 or 5 times a week, increase time spent on feet very gradually, avoid injury.
Medium Term: Become sufficiently fit to run the Brooklyn Half Marathon comfortably next March (with mum)
Long Term: Complete New York Marathon '07 comfortably (sub-4)
Ultimate: achieve significant PR (sub 3:30) in the marathon distance preferably before baby #2*

*Is it wrong to plan babies around marathons, and vice-versa?